Well, That Could Have Been Better… Let’s List 11 Of The Most Disappointing Movies Of 2016!

There were many additions to the 2016 film roster that were enjoyable, awesome and epic. We were given some of the best comic book films to date, including Captain America: Civil War and, of course, Deadpool. Horror was at an all-time great this year with the spectacular Lights Out and Don’t Breathe… Not to mention, La La Land dancing its way into our hearts and wallets. With the great, unfortunately, comes the not-so-great and there have been some doozies this year.

What this list will focus on is not the worst films of the year but the ones that had an immense amount of potential going in to it that ultimately let many viewers down in a fiery storm of disappointment. So if you were looking for the Kevin Spacey classic, Nine Lives where he plays a talking cat, you will probably see it in another list.


1. Jason Bourne

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‘Jason Bourne’ | Universal Pictures

Release Date: July 29th, 2016

The Matt Damon Bourne trilogy is regarded as one of the best trilogies of all time, known for its intriguing premise, spectacular characters and insanely phenomenal action sequences featuring everyday products like pens and toasters. When it was announced that a fourth installment was to be released, fans of the trilogy (myself included) could not contain their excitement at seeing Damon back in the role that made him a household name. What we got was an incredibly generic action flick that does not live up to even an ounce of anticipation complete with sequences that were relatively passable. I am convinced Tommy Lee Jones was asleep for a majority of his scenes.

2. Assassin’s Creed

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‘Assassin’s Creed’ | 20th Century Fox

Release Date: December 14th, 2016

You have Michael Fassbender in the lead role, Marion Cotillard and Jeremy Irons in supporting roles and the director of the 2015 Macbeth adaptation at the helm of this video-game-to-film-adaptation. Assassin’s Creed was slowly being regarded as the video game adaptation that may possibly finally be the great adaptation audiences and gamers have been waiting for! After a lukewarm reception for its initial trailers and its release in mid-December, we will still be waiting for that great adaptation. There are many who believe it was a nice action flick, however for the anticipation it was building and the incredible lore of its game, Assassin’s Creed fell short of paving the way to be the leading video game adaptation. With its convoluted mess of a plot and characters who had the emotions of a refrigerator… Maybe Uncharted stands a chance to be that leading adaptation when it releases never? Or the Alicia Vikander Tomb Raider set for 2018? We can hope! If there is one thing we learned from its performance, riding on the coattails of a popular title does not always equal unbelievable success.

3. Suicide Squad

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‘Suicide Squad’ | Warner Bros.

Release Date: August 1st, 2016

Suicide Squad is arguably one of the most divisive films of the year because it certainly divided audience members to those who believe it is one of Warner Bros’ best comic book movies to those who believe it is the worst film of 2016 and all those in between. The anger certain audiences had even garnered a petition called “Don’t listen to film criticism“, which asked for people to sign it and boycott listening to critics because “[you] may enjoy a movie regardless what the critics say about it.” Suicide Squad had an incredible first trailer set to Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” which encouraged tons of audience members to be hyped for this latest comic book film… This will put the DCEU on the map since Batman v Superman was not the powerhouse it was expected to be! The final result included massive shifts in tone, ridiculously blatant editing issues and awkward/undeveloped characters. Regardless of the problems it had, the Squad generated $745 million worldwide and we are getting a Gotham City Sirens spinoff with Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn which is an enormous plus for its fans.

4. Passengers

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‘Passengers’ | Columbia Pictures

Release Date: December 21st, 2016

The premise of Passengers is pretty intriguing. Two people awaken from an induced hibernation to be trapped on a spaceship headed for a planet colony only ninety years away? Sounds awesome! With the casting announcement of fan favourites, Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt, many expected this film to be a hit with audiences and an awesome addition to the sci-fi genre. Unfortunately, many critics concluded the film is a prime example of “style over substance” and with a current score of 31% on Rotten Tomatoes, audiences ultimately chose to spend their money elsewhere. The combined star power of Lawrence and Pratt could not save this ship from crashing into the proverbial box office meteor as it has earned $45 million thus far on a $110 million budget.

5. Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice

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‘Batman v Superman’ | Warner Bros.

Release Date: March 25th, 2016

Releasing prior to Suicide Squad, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice pitted together two of the biggest heavyweights in the comic universe. It was also going to be the first appearance of a new Batman with Ben Affleck attempting to shed the Daredevil image from everyone’s brains. It was the second installment of the DCEU behind 2013’s Man of Steel, also directed by Zack Snyder, and was supposed to finally kick off the DCEU with a bang! Unfortunately, its release ultimately garnered more of an “eh” instead of that bang Warner Bros. was hoping for. The film made $873 million which is a huge achievement and shouldn’t really be considered a failure, however it did not reach that billion-dollar mark the DC execs were secretly hoping for. Criticism of the film pointed to its overabundance of subplots and the fact that the actual “versus” between Batman and Superman occurred for roughly fifteen minutes. Not to mention the infamous MARTHA sequence that will haunt the dreams of critics forever.

  • They Won’t Kill Martha If You Just Click This For My Review

6. X-Men: Apocalypse

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‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ | 20th Century Fox

Release Date: May 9th, 2016

Do you guys remember X-Men: Apocalypse? Me neither. Coming off of Days Of Future Past, X-Men: Apocalypse featured all the right people including Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Jennifer Lawrence, the incredible Oscar Isaac as the titular Apocalypse and Sophie Turner of Game of Thrones fame… So what went wrong?! Expecting it to perform Days Of Future Past numbers is rather unreasonable since it was the second highest X=Men installment (excluding Deadpool), however it did not perform as well as expected. Perhaps this was a case of unrealistic expectations since so many loved DOFP, however the unimpressive CGI sequences combined with actors who seemed as unimpressed as the effects fell on Apocalypse itself.

7. Independence Day: Resurgence

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‘Independence Day: Resurgence’ | 20th Century Fox

Release Date: June 20th, 2016

I think the worst thing about this sequel to the classic silly blockbuster, Independence Day is the fact that Resurgence manages to pull a complete 180 on what made the original so enjoyable. The 1996 original is not a cinematic masterpiece by any means yet it is fun! With characters you enjoy seeing and want to share a drink with while attempting to outsmart aliens. There are also some incredible feats in visual effects with Independence Day, specifically that iconic White House explosion scene. Twenty years on, including fan favorites Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman cameo could not save it from the bland, boring schlock that is Resurgence. The film attempts to set up future sequels which is mistake #1 so many of these types of films seem to make: STOP SETTING UP FOR MOVIE #2! MAKE US CARE ABOUT THE MOVIE YOU HAVE NOW! Resurgence could have been another fun blockbuster that would be a wonderful back-to-back feature with its original. The final result was taking everything you loved about Independence Day and creating something the complete opposite of it.

8. Hail Caesar!

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‘Hail Caesar!’ | Universal Pictures

Release Date: February 5th, 2016

One of the few included in the list that is certified fresh, this Coen Brothers comedy is not terrible by any means. It has occasional moments of humor and a ridiculously talented A-list cast including George Clooney, the future Han Solo in Alden Ehrenreich, Scarlett Johansson and Channing Tatum as a dancing sailor! Unfortunately, because of how revered the works of the Coen Brothers are, Hail Caesar! simply did not live up to the hype that these names generated. The captivating Coens cinematography is certainly present however the lack of an interesting plot and another overwhelming sense of style over substance all contributed to this film about the Golden Age of Hollywood ultimately falling short of expectations.

9. Zoolander 2

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‘Zoolander 2’ | Paramount Pictures

Release Date: February 12th, 2016

I feel for those people who thought seeing the sequel to the Ben Stiller classic, Zoolander would be the perfect Valentine’s date. Zoolander 2 is another addition to the failed comedy sequel (see: Dumb And Dumber To, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues) that some believe came out much too late. Although many of the original cast returned to this sequel, released fifteen years following the original, audience members chose to stay away from this attempt at being really, really good looking. The failed attempts at humor by utilizing references from the first one and an endless array of tiresome cameos were just a few reasons why this sequel did not live up the immensely quotable and incredibly silly original. The truly sad part is the original managed to earn more at the box office than this sequel and it made an insane amount on home video on top of it being considered a box office failure.

10. Warcraft

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‘Warcraft’ | Universal Pictures

Release Date: June 10th, 2016

Prior to the release of Assassin’s Creed, many expected Warcraft to fill the void of the video game adaptation because of how insanely popular the Warcraft series is. Travis Fimmel of Vikings fame and Toby Kebbell, known for his portrayal of the antagonistic Koba in the Planet Of The Apes franchise, all starred in the film along with Paula Patton, Dominic Cooper and the wildly talented Ben Foster! The film did very well overseas, generating over $386 million and allowed Universal to make back its production budget. Domestically, the film earned a measly $47 million, a number that is rather shocking when you think about how much money the “Warcraft” name generates through all of its branches. Critics were also not loving Warcraft, pulling in a 28% on Rotten Tomatoes with an average score of 4.2/10. Fear not, lovers of the Duncan Jones adaptation, there are still talks of it receiving a sequel since it did perform incredibly at the foreign box office!

11. Ghostbusters

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Release Date: July 15th, 2016

The final example that divided moviegoers was the remake of the beloved 1984 classic, Ghostbusters. Taking away the issue of gender politics, many believed the original Ghostbusters is an untouchable entity whereas others wanted to see a modern, updated version of it. Judging Ghostbusters (2016) on its own merits, the ultimate result features serviceable performances from its main cast that make you chuckle in the moment then forget immediately why you were laughing. Many concluded that there are some interesting sequences utilizing CGI however there are a number of characters many found insufferable because of their lack of development and/or trope-filled behavior. For those interested in the Ghostbusters universe, original director Ivan Reitman revealed that there are going to be more Ghostbusters films, “they’re just in development right now.” Whether that means a direct sequel to the one released this summer or a whole new gang specializing in ghost busting, keep an eye out for more ghosts in the future… Many ghosts who, according to Ghostbusters (2016), apparently have dicks.

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Happy New Years, Friends!

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‘Star Trek: TOS’ | CBS
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‘Star Trek’ | CBS

What Were Some Of Your Biggest Movie Disappointments Of 2016? Comment Down Below!

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‘Malcolm In The Middle’ | Fox

 

Suicide Squad (2016) Movie Review

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This was probably the greatest music video I’ve ever seen (besides Thriller of course, duh)

One of my favourite quotes from Suicide Squad comes toward the beginning of the movie when the age old question is asked: “What if Superman had decided to fly down, rip off the roof of the White House, and grab the president right out of the Oval Office. Who would’ve stopped him?” Well… The first hero I would think of to get us out of that hypothetical jam would definitely be Captain Boomerang!

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nah, he was funny

Suicide Squad tells the story of Amanda Waller, played by the always brilliant Viola Davis, as she attempts to assemble a team of the biggest and baddest to protect the United States against hypothetical Superman-esque forces. They are the bad guys, everyone. Get that through your heads, they will for sure remind you whenever they can that they are the bad guys. I will start off by saying Margot Robbie‘s portrayal of Harley Quinn has easily been one of my favourite performances in any comic book/superhero movie in recent memory. She is phenomenal, guys and I honestly would not have minded if the whole movie revolved around whatever the hell Harley felt like doing that day. I thought I would grow tired of that accent and ditziness and granted there was a moment, particularly toward the end when the worst line ever was uttered, Robbie somehow managed to keep the character fresh as the movie progressed. Gold Star!

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Yeah it is!

Jared Leto as the Joker… I don’t wish to cast too harsh a judgement on him since he didn’t play that big of a role in the movie, even though he did appear in quite a number of scenes, but for what I witnessed I wasn’t a fan. Not even counting the Romero, Ledger or Nicholson portrayals, the grills he was rocking added nothing to the character save it made it more difficult to understand him but he just didn’t have that kind of domineering presence to him. I was more scared of his bodyguards than him, and when it comes to arguably the greatest comic book villain of all-time, I need to feel sheer terror when he’s on screen. Cara Delevingne is a wonderfully attractive human being but for the love of all that is Matt Damon her acting abilities are virtually non-existent. I cannot wish enough that they got someone with the acting capability of a Margot Robbie to portray Enchantress. Will Smith gives a great performance of a quippy murderous Will Smith. Every other member of the Squad gave passable performances, Jai Courtney absolutely owned his Captain Boomerang character. The standout for me besides Robbie as Harley Quinn was Karen Fukuhara as Katana… She nailed it, dude. I think I felt more for Katana’s character than I did anybody else, and she had maybe 10 lines in the whole movie!

There are some great and not-so-great uses of special effects in Suicide Squad. MILD SPOILERS I loved a particular scene involving Diablo going Full Super Saiyan and some of the scenes with the beginning stages of the Enchantress. END SPOILERS. The effects that had to do with Enchantress toward the end though… oh man, it looked like a bit of a shitstorm. Especially with those overdone-in-film damn blue beams! The soundtrack is also quite enjoyable actually, I foresee myself viewing some of the scenes on YouTube occasionally when I get a hankering for Eminem. The score was way too much though. It was overpowering at times and all I could hear was just LOUUUUUUUUUUUD NOISES!!!

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You’ve probably heard about the editing issues in Suicide Squad… and ho-ly-dickens, my friends the editing is here, there, over there, under where, EVERYWHERE. Off the top of my head I can think of three four instances that immediately took me out of the movie because I thought “what the fuck did they not catch this post? During writing it??”As I mentioned, Cara Dev… is easily the weakest of the bunch and that is truly disappointing because of how important her role is. I actually enjoyed the exposition they gave for the characters since I knew nothing about them and felt like I had an understanding of each member by the end of the film, however you can see just how sloppy the writing really is and I do attribute that to the 6-week period director David Ayer allegedly had to pen the script.

To conclude, good god, DC, please crank up the brightness levels for your next features. Couldn’t see shit!

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If you’re looking for a relatively fun comic-book movie and don’t mind the occasional “wait… what the hell was that?” check out Suicide Squad.

Suicide Squad receives 2.5/5 Matt Damon heads.

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