Take Shelter (2011)

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Samantha: You smell really bad.
Curtis: … I think I smell good.

Starring: Michael Shannon as Curtis LaForche, Jessica Chastain as Samantha LaForche, Shea Whigham as Dewart and Katy Mixon as Nat, dir. Jeff Nichols.

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Cinematographer: Adam Stone (Mud, Midnight Special, Loving)

The Tree Of Life (2011)

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Mrs. O’Brien: Help each other. Love everyone. Every leaf. Every ray of light. Forgive.

Starring: Brad Pitt as Mr. O’Brien, Jessica Chastain as Mrs. O’Brien, Sean Penn and Jack and Tye Sheridan as Steve, dir. Terrence Malick.

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Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubezki (Children of Men, Gravity, The Revenant)

Lawless (2012)

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Forrest Bondurant: I’m a Bondurant. We don’t lay down for nobody.

Starring: Tom Hardy as Forrest Bondurant, Shia TheBeef as Jack Bondurant, Jessica Chastain as Maggie, Guy Pearce as Charlie Rakes and Jason Clarke as Howard Bondurant, dir. John Hillcoat.

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Cinematographer: Benoit Delhomme (The Proposition, The Theory of Everything, Free State of Jones)

The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016) Movie Review

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Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron walk into a movie, the result of that? An incredibly sub par picture


The second unit director & visual effects supervisor of the first Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) movie, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, helms this prequel/sequel to the surprising 2012 hit. I will say, this was a pretty looking movie and I firmly hold the belief that Chris Hemsworth can charm the milk out of chocolate… That’s pretty much all I can say for it. The performances of the aforementioned three ridiculously talented actresses are completely wasted in The Huntsman 2/1. Blunt, Theron and Chastain are some of the greatest working actresses today, with Jessica Chastain being one of my own personal favourites… I hate to say it but these performances were phoned in entirely and it is a shame that these four weren’t starring in a completely different movie because I think that would’ve been way better than what we got.

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“Why are we in this?” “… I’m saving up for Lawless 2

As mentioned, it is a nice looking movie and I thoroughly enjoyed the Frozen-esque VFX aspect to it, frankly Elsa should’ve been freezing shit up as much as Freya was. Hemsworth and Chastain had tremendous chemistry together and I hope they work together in the future because I can’t imagine how fantastic they would be together in a movie that isn’t this one. Charlize Theron was fine but you can tell she is only this because she probably owed director Troyan a favour and Emily Blunt… Ooooooooh wee the Redmayne Ascending syndrome struck her.

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It is not particularly engaging, it drones on quite a bit but I did appreciate the motivation behind Freya’s anger. It’s really stupid but I appreciate it. Also I’m certain I wasn’t the only one that saw the final outcome between the sisters coming from a mile away, right? There are dwarves too that served as comic relief and they made me laugh a few times. It really is an incredibly underwhelming movie and one of those movies where you will catch the tail end of it when it’s on the Space channel or something.


If you’re looking for a ridiculously entertaining take on the fantasy genre, this probably isn’t the movie for you. If you’re a fan of the original Snow White and the Huntsman and want to see Chris Hemsworth be charismatic and charming (and really, who doesn’t?), check out The Huntsman: War on Mirrors.


The Huntsman receives 2.5/5 Matt Damon heads

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Crimson Peak (2015) Movie Review

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Oh Guillermo del Toro… No one can deny that you make delectably beautiful looking movies. Crimson Peak is arguably one of the better looking movies this year, its intense imagery of things we all despise like insects and insects eating butterflies really lends itself to just how beautiful this movie is. The richness of the colours is a sight to see in the theatre and the houses… The architecture on those houses, man, are the wet dreams of every architect in every Rom Com ever.

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The performances of the brother/sister duo of Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain is simply brilliant. Chastain is one of my favourite actresses working in Hollywood today so her phenomenal acting was an expected treat, however Hiddleston really was the standout. He plays sneaky. lovely. creepy. sexy AND broody bloody terrifically. The over-the-topness from both Hiddleston and Chastain was entertaining to witness and believe me… There was some super over-the-topness.

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The siblings’ best John Lennon impersonation

Unfortunately, with the good comes the… not so good. I did not expect Crimson Peak to be the absolute jump scare galore it was. I think the word “subtle” was never mentioned in the writers room when this film was being created. The movie suffers from the common horror trope of… quiet… music playing… shhh, nothing’s happening here… you’re not anticipating SUDDEN NOISE BAM BOOM HA GOT YOU. You know I didn’t mind the one jump scare here and there because that is, of course, expected out of a horror-type movie… However what Crimson Peak does is it makes the audience member anticipate the jump scare. I know when the jump scare was coming. I don’t want to know. The music suddenly quieted and the character has a sense of calmness? Yeah, the jump scare is imminent.

As a “Gothic romance” as so many are calling it, the pairing of Hiddleston and Mia Wasikowska was.. subpar, at best. There was a hint of chemistry between the two but I think Wasikowska/Charlie Hunnam had much more of a spark… And those two were arguably the weakest out of the four so that may have had something to do with it.

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It took me way too long to realize this was Charlie Hunnam

Yet another HOWEVER, however… The final 20 minutes or so of this film is absolutely cuckoo bananas. Every actor involved really showcased their acting chops brilliantly, particularly the aforementioned Mia Wasikowska, she actually managed to do something other than walking around creepy hallways grasping onto those damn candles for dear life. I have to mention it again, Jessica Chastain: you’re my hero.

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Crimson Peak suffers from being so great to look at, but having nothing really substantial on the inside. Essentially a film embodiment of Steve Stifler. With way more romance and violence. The direction from del Toro is known, however, it is beautifully directed (someone give me a dollar for every time I mention ‘beautiful’) and his scene setups were fantastic.

If you’re looking for a nice movie to watch on Halloween with loved ones and the whole family, watch Addams Family Values or Halloweentown. If you want to see shit being stabbed, one use of the word ‘Fuck’, and an adult horror-romantic movie with people you know that can handle that type of thing, Crimson Peak is that movie for you.


Crimson Peak receives 3.5/5 Matt Damon heads.

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