Ex Machina (2015)

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Nathan: Caleb, what’s your type?
Caleb: Of girl?
Nathan: No, salad dressing!

Starring: Oscar Isaac as Nathan Bateman, Domhnall Gleeson as Caleb Smith, Sonoya Mizuno as Kyoko and Alicia Vikander as Ava, dir. Alex Garland.

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Cinematographer: Rob Hardy (The Invisible Woman, Testament of Youth)

Macbeth (2015)

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Macbeth: If we should fail…
Lady Macbeth: We’ll not fail.

Starring: Michael Fassbender as Macbeth, Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth, Paddy Considine as Banquo, David Thewlis as King Duncan and Sean Harris as Macduff, dir. Justin Kurzel.

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Cinematographer: Adam Arkapaw (Lore, Assassin’s Creed, The Light Between Oceans)

Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard and director Justin Kurzel have teamed up for the upcoming Assassin’s Creed adaptation.. So just incase you need another reason to become super hyped, you’re welcome.

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Shaun The Sheep (2015) Movie Review

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I did not expect to love a movie, that had not a lick of dialogue, this much

Stop-motion animation is a beautiful work of art and the people over at Aardman Animation know exactly how to make movies that utilize this form of animation. I had never heard of the Shaun The Sheep property and after watching this surprisingly wonderful and heartwarming movie, I am hungry for more of these adorable animals.

Seeing the struggles these damn sheep endure in order to be reunited with their Farmer pulled at my heartstrings and made me laugh aloud. Every sheep served their purpose and essentially every single character had their own distinct traits that made them unique. Shaun is an incredible protagonist and is honestly climbing up my list of my favourite animated protagonists of all time. He makes mistakes. He has ambitions. He loves. He fears. HE’S ADORABLE. The movie doesn’t treat its audience like they are morons which is something I thoroughly appreciate in a “kid’s movie.” They flash back to moments that are significant in order to help the younger, and by extension, stupider (because they’re small), audience be aware of what is going on but I really never felt bored or exhausted by the flashbacks. I felt so attached to these characters and we really only share like an hour and a half together…

I also cried way more than I am willing to admit… 

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The film is paced well, the sheep and humans alike were fleshed out, there were moments that made me genuinely laugh and again guys, I grew way more attached than I would’ve liked to these fictional characters. The scenes in the Pound specifically and the Poor Ugly Dog that nobody wanted really got to me. I wanted to hug all those creatures and scream, “it’s going to be alright! You’ll all find homes!!” 

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I mean it’s not… that bad..

This movie made me happy and feel warm and tingly all over. That’s really all that there is. If you’re interested in an incredibly beautiful looking stop-motion animation and want to feel, please check out Shaun The Sheep. I so wish I checked this out when it appeared in theatres for that one month.


Shaun The Sheep receives a coveted 5/5 Matt Damon heads.

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Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

ggThor: Stark is right.
Bruce Banner: Ooh, it’s definitely the end times.

Starring: Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America, Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man, Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the Maximoff Siblings, Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/The Hulk and Jeremy Renner as Clint Barton/Hawk-Eye, dir. Joss Whedon

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Cinematographer: Ben Davis (Layer Cake, Stardust, GoTG)

The Revenant (2015) Movie Review

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[6]

The Revenant, or as I like to call it, WHY WON’T YOU DIE?: The Movie.


This movie is an experience and a half. From the moment I first heard about what this story was about (wait.. he’s left for dead in the forest after BEING MAULED BY A BEAR?!) to the second those credits roll, the story of Hugh Glass is something that blows the mind when realizing just how strong one’s devotion to survival can be.

Let’s get one thing straight: The Revenant is one gorgeous looking movie. The director/cinematographer pairing of Iñárritu and Lubezki is slowly becoming one of my favourites, following their collaboration on 2014’s Best Picture winner Birdman, and I think 0 people are surprised they have the nomination for this year’s Best Picture as well. It’s difficult to deny just how incredible some of these shots are and watching the movie for the cinematography alone would be a worth a watch.

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Now the acting… Is Leo going to get that little, coveted & revered golden bastard? That man has been on a whirlwind of press tours to promote this movie and, subsequently, promoting his performance. DiCap did a tremendous job portraying a man at the brink of death almost every other second… Leo will win this year. His portrayal of Glass is gritty, real, graphic, disturbing, basically any synonym of “batshit crazy”… Is this his greatest performance of his career? My personal opinion is this: It’s not his best and, not taking away from anything Leo did because he was fantastic, I truly believe Fassbender should win this year. Guys, you know who was insane? Tom.. Motherf’ing.. Hardy. God is there anything that man can’t do?? His portrayal of Fitzgerald is one of the best “villain” performances of recent memory and you know what the greatest sign of a terrific antagonist is? Someone who makes the viewer see his/her side… And let me tell you: I found myself agreeing with him multiple times after placing myself in his shoes and that’s simply bananas.

The Revenant clocks in at little over 2 and a half hours yet everyone in my theatre was enthralled throughout it. Honestly, to get the most enjoyment out of this film would be to watch it on the biggest of screens you can find. There are certain aspects to the movie that did make me go “huh?” a couple of times and man, there were times I struggled a bit on trying to decipher what some characters were saying because evidently enunciation wasn’t a thing in the 1800’s! I also needed a warm shower after watching it with a ton of nice, clean soap so if anything, the movie made me appreciate the little things.


If you’re looking for a movie with a stellar cast, absolutely gorgeous cinematography and have a few hours to really sit down and soak up the world of The Revenant, do yourself a favour and see why everyone is shipping the Bear + Leo.

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The Revenant receives 4/5 Matt Damon heads.

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Star Wars Episode VII: AWAKENED, THE FORCE HAS (2015) Spoiler-Free review

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The time has arrived. The wait is finally over. The new Star Wars is here… A NEW STAR WARS!  From the moment Disney bought Lucasfilm and the announcement was made that we’re ultimately going to be sucked back into the movie universe that so many of us love, speculations, leaks, criticisms, fanboyisms have all risen with the first ultimate test being how The Force Awakens stacks up… And let me tell you guys: Episode VII is one incredible ride.


Let’s get the pleasantries out of the way. The second that opening crawl comes up with NEW words and sentences you’ve never read before, emotions are high. Tears are shed. Snot is formed. 

I haven’t been enthralled in such a movie since watching my favourite film of the year, Fury Road. Each frame is filled with beauty, lushness, colour and familiarity (that is for you to see) that makes it such a comfortable movie to watch. It is the mashed potatoes of movies. You’re welcomed back into the Star Wars universe that you love and have been craving to be welcomed back into. I’m going to focus on the merits and negatives to The Force Awakens strictly for itself but mention of the Original Trilogy and Prequels will be made, it’s inevitable. That said, it’s fucking PARSECS ahead of the Prequels, don’t worry about that.

I’ve read a few people saying the story/plot in the Prequels are stronger than that of The Force Awakens and it’s really like WHAT. Look, the main plot that drives TFA is reminiscent of A New Hope… Alright let’s call a spade a spade, without delving too much into spoiler territory Force Awakens is essentially an updated, more bad-ass version of ANH. There are many familiar themes in Episode VII that parallels the previous Episode, however, JJ Abrams & co. have managed to shape it in a way that makes it entertaining and fresh. Trade negotiations & senate meetings are terrific and you know what? I would have liked for TFA to have a bit more explanation of the political climate in the galaxy and certain characters certainly could have been utilized better. I’m sure we’ll receive more from all accounts in the upcoming episodes.. BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO GET MORE STAR WARS MOTHERFUCKAHHHHHS 🙂


Let’s discuss the newcomers to the Star Wars universe…

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Boyega, Ridley, Driver, Isaac… They are simply terrific. Daisy Ridley and John Boyega.. these two are going places.
  • Ridley as Rey is arguably the breakthrough performance of the year. I can’t imagine the amount of pressure this woman had to a) not only star in the new Star Wars in a decade but also b) in her first big, blockbuster film! Yeah, I get nervous pouring coffee for my manager.
  • Boyega as FN-2187 (aka Finn) is spectacular. The perfect blend of Han Solo & Luke Skywalker, the chemistry between these two leads is undeniable. 
  • Oscar Isaac (Poe Dameron) is one of my favourite actors working today. He is in the realm of the Hardy and Fassbenders. I honestly felt more of a genuine friendship between Poe & Finn in the first 5 minutes of them meeting than  Obi Wan & Anakin’s friendship in the entirety of Attack of the Clones. I’m sorry but no one gives a shit about the time you flew into the pile of Gungans on the island of Gundor.
  • Arguably the weakest link between the four is Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. While masked, he possessed a certain air of mystery and intrigue to him… I just didn’t feel intimated by him at all when that mask came off. This could have been achieved as well unmasked had a stronger actor been cast. Not to take away from Driver’s acting ability but I couldn’t help but wonder how Isaac would have been as Kylo. 

    You all have looked up how good or bad The Force Awakens is. You know whether you want to experience it on the biggest of screens or in the comfort of your own home, although I’m sure you’d be spoiled eventually because internet bags of dicks are everywhere. It is not a perfect movie, however it’s pretty darn close to it. All I can tell you is if you’re familiar with the Star Wars universe, you will feel a sense of awe throughout the duration of the movie. If you’re not a fan of the universe, you’ll be insanely entertained throughout it… However, at the very least watch Episode IV: A New Hope. You’ll find a new favourite movie and have a greater appreciation for The Force Awakens.

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I am way too hyped for the remaining two of this chart to be filled

If you’re looking for a movie that– ahhh fuck it. GO WATCH THE NEW STAR WARS! 🙂


Star Wars: The Force Awakens receives 4/5 Matt Damon heads.

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The Night Before (2015) Movie Review

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[4]

I rarely go into movies completely blind. For the last 3 weeks after moving into our new place, I was completely Internet and TV-less so I was barely able to check up on any movie news, releases and the like. A good friend of mine asked if I wanted to see this new movie starring Seth Rogen and one of my fantasy husbands Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Figured I like the two so why not?!

… I went into The Night Before completely blind and came out with the biggest smile on my face it hurt. Guys, I adored this movie.

JGL can honestly charm the pants off a mannequin. Seth Rogen had me cracking up throughout the film. Anthony Mackie was fantastic. The chemistry between these 3 was just something else, I truly believed they were the best of friends. Every secondary character served a purpose and did not feel like dead weight.. It’s a miracle to spot that in a comedy!

Lizzy Caplan makes me a happy camper and HO BOY the character of Josh was spectacular. The standout for me, and I believe many others, had to have been Michael Shannon.. The mysterious “quiet intensity” this man possesses is bone-chilling and made me uncomfortable yet at ease every time he was on screen.. shannon

*Side note:* and honestly, I felt more love between Diana & Ethan for 10 minutes moreso than the entire relationship between Bond & Swann in Spectre.. But that is for another review.

Besides all the characters that were actually developed.. The writing of this movie was surprisingly incredible. Everything connected, there was virtually no wasted plot because every single piece of dialogue served its purpose. There were also way too many times I felt things I did not expect to feel, my friends. Labeling it strictly as a “stoner comedy” does it an injustice.. A 16 year old slacker can enjoy this film just as much as a 36 year old housewife can, however they may love it for different reasons which shows that it can truly transcend audiences.

Besides a few glaring lapses of logic that made me go HAH?? (yes.. I’m aware it’s a movie but don’t tell me these guys honestly thought they could pull off that Goldeneye moment) The Night Before delivers in the greatest way possible.. It made me laugh hard in one minute and warm my heart the next. If you’re looking for a particular film like that, PLEASE check out The Night Before. It is a beautifully made R-rated comedy perfect for a hilarious night out with friends. Cannot recommend it enough.


The Night Before receives 4.5/5 Matt Damon heads.

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