Se7en (1995)

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William Somerset: This guy’s methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
David Mills: He’s a nut-bag! Just because the fucker’s got a library card doesn’t make him Yoda!

Starring: Brad Pitt as David Mills, Morgan Freeman as Det. Lt. William Somerset, Gwyneth Paltrow as Tracy WHAT’S IN THE BAHHHHHHHHHX?! Mills and Kevin Spacey as John Doe, dir. David Fincher.

See also for more Fincher & Pitt:

cinemagraph source: otfilms
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Cinematographer: Darius Khondji (Midnight in Paris, The Immigrant)

 

The Accountant (2016) Movie Review

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Christian’s father truly embodies the idea of “Tough Love.”

The Basic Premise

Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) is a wickedly smaht mathematician who is an accountant by day and, if the event calls for it, a bad-ass book cooker/killing machine.

My Thoughts On The Characters And Story

The Accountant is ultimately an incredible character study on a man who suffers from autism and is taught, rather harshly, to not allow him being different to hinder his ability to live his life… And I honestly enjoyed everything about this film immensely. It weaves pertinent moments in Christian’s life that shaped the man he became and Affleck gives a fantastic performance. Everyone gives pretty good performances, Anna Kendrick‘s portrayal of Dana Cummings, the woman who initially notices discrepancies in this company headed by John Lithgow, is fine and her chemistry with Affleck was actually much better than I anticipated. I liked the banter the two had and believed they could potentially accumulate a close friendship. Cynthia Addai-Robinson had a good rapport with J.K Simmons and although the two were mostly used to spew exposition, I enjoyed their plot line as the crew involved with taking down this “Accountant.”

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“Get me pictures of The Accountant!” | Warner Bros.

The real standouts were Affleck and Jon Bernthal. Oh my god, Jon Bernthal can honestly do no wrong in my eyes. Affleck managed to encompass everything about his character wonderfully and you genuinely believed this guy was capable of executing absolutely everything the story required of him. There were sequences where he had to perform some brutal violence one moment then a lighthearted quip occurred that didn’t make me roll my eyes, an issue many “action” films have that was simply executed brilliantly in The Accountant. Bernthal’s character was a horrifying talent who had me chuckling a few times until I realized I really shouldn’t be chuckling at what he’s saying right now but he’s so darn charming!

The Accountant’s emphasis on Christian Wolff is explored brilliantly, I know a major critique of the film is that the various plot points were difficult to follow. I do agree that one or two moments could have been explained a bit more thoroughly, however as a coherent unit I enjoyed what was unraveling on screen and certain revelations were incredible to witness. Watching this with a packed audience certainly added to my enjoyment of it since everyone was enthralled during certain sequences and the humour sprinkled throughout was a fantastic aspect to it. I genuinely laughed aloud during certain moments because of how great the humour was incorporated with each respective character…

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Can I just give a quick shout out to Alison Wright, one of the most wonderful/amazing/brilliant/every subsequent synonym actresses working today? 
She appears only briefly but that woman is a disgustingly amazing talent and even her brief appearance left a mark on me. Her role as Martha in FX’s The Americans is just… All kinds of wonderful.

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ALISON WRIGHT | twitter @alison__wright

How Were The Other Aspects Of The Film?

In a Warner Bros. YouTube featurette (~2:45) director Gavin O’Connor (Warrior, Jane Got A Gun) states the following,

“I wanted to tackle the subject matter, celebrate someone who’s different. And it’s important that we got it right.”

The film thankfully does not “Hollywoodize” mental illness like we have all grown accustomed to seeing. They portray autism and individuals who live with such disabilities wonderfully and there is never a time where I found myself thinking it was going too far or this was an inherent disrespectful portrayal, intended to shock the audience rather than add depth to the characters. O’Connor manages to showcase the action sequences in a riveting way, with not as many fast cuts or Godforsaken shaky cam and due to your connection with the characters, you genuinely give a shit of what is occurring on screen.

Many scenes had an incredible build up of tension and there is one particular sequence toward the end of the first act where I felt actual knots in my stomach. I really enjoyed this movie.

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If you’re looking for a movie with fantastic violence that handles its themes with immense care and has the added bonus of a terrific performance by Ben Affleck, check out The Accountant.


The Accountant receives 4.5/5 Matt Damon heads.

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sources used: [1], [2]

Just In Time For Halloween! Let’s List 9 Horror Movies Where The Characters Aren’t Complete Morons

Look, I’m not sure what I would do if I were faced with a masked killer running around, but I can tell you that more than half the shit some of these people do in horror movies is quite possibly the most ineffective way to handle such a situation…

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WHY, SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR? WHO WOULD YOU TURN AROUND WHEN SAFETY IS LITERALLY FOOT STEPS AWAY?

We are all familiar with those horror movie tropes that make us roll our eyes and scream at the top of our lungs, “Why would you choose to do that?!”

With Halloween creeping its way forward, I thought it would be nice to list some examples of horror movies where the characters’ decisions don’t make you want to rip your hair apart.


1. The Thing (1982)

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Plot Synopsis

Set in a remote Antarctic research station, a group of research scientists are faced with the headache of a parasitic entity that manages to assimilate into other organisms thus imitating them. Shit is fucked, essentially.

Why The Recommendation?

I am certain you have probably heard of The Thing at least once in your life and if you still haven’t seen this glorious John Carpenter-directed flick, make sure to add it to your Halloween movie marathon this year. The characters in The Thing are honest-to-God scientists and they act like it, damn it! It’s honestly worth watching for scenes being set to Ennio Morricone‘s original score alone.

See The Trailer Below!

2. You’re Next (2013)

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Plot Synopsis

An estranged wealthy family on a weekend getaway are faced with the headache of having masked assailants terrorize them.

Why The Recommendation?

You’re Next was one of the biggest surprises of 2013 and is a fantastic take on the horror genre. It is currently sitting fresh at 75 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and if you find yourself chuckling at certain parts, no shame. You’re probably just insane.

3. Misery (1990)

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Dirty liar, you are

Plot Synopsis

Based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, Misery places you in the shoes of James Caan‘s Paul Sheldon and makes you genuinely disdain Kathy Bates‘ Annie Wilkes… When revered novelist Paul Sheldon suffers a serious car accident, former nurse and psychotic Annie Wilkes promises to take good care of him until she finds out he will be killing off her favorite character from his novels… You don’t fuss with Annie Wilkes’ novel characters.

Why The Recommendation?

With every moment that passes in the film, you are attempting to find any way out of this room. Sheldon does his absolute best in devising quick schemes to get away from Annie’s war path and you do not blame him for any decisions that go terribly wrong at all. This is why I am not a famed author, guys. What if I encounter a Misery situation?

4. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

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Plot Synopsis

The sequel yet not really sequel to 2008’s Cloverfield, 10 Cloverfield Lane finds Michelle, played wonderfully by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, waking up in an underground bunker with two men. John Goodman‘s Howard claims this bunker is the safest place to be due to the massive chemical attack that has rendered the outside completely unsafe.

Why The Recommendation?

I went into 10 Cloverfield completely blind and it is honestly the best way to go. John Goodman gives one of the best performances of the year and throughout the film you are constantly wondering what his intentions are. The plans and revelations keep you on the edge of your seat and although the final few scenes are a bit controversial, it is certainly an entertaining thriller that I highly recommend.

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5. The Conjuring (2013)

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Plot Synopsis

Set in 1970, Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga play married paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren who reluctantly decide to help Carolyn and Roger Perron, played by Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston respectively. The family of seven recently move into a secluded farmhouse, where a supernatural presence has made itself known and shit truly goes down.

Why The Recommendation?

The Conjuring is one of best horror films of the last few years. Ed and Lorraine Warren are fantastically portrayed and the audience will find themselves growing more attached to the characters because of how well they are written. The film gives reason for why certain things are the way they are and by the end of it, I had no nails left because they were all chewed off.

6. The Evil Dead (1981)

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Plot Synopsis

A group of five college buddies retreat to a cabin in the woods for Spring Break when they encounter a book entitled “the Necronomicon,” whose text reawakens the dead when it’s read aloud. The friends inadvertently release a flood of evil and must fight for their lives or become one of the evil dead.

Why The Recommendation?

Granted, they shouldn’t have listened to the audiotapes in the first place. Everything following it however, is a thrilling gore-ride and makes me think twice before listening to any haunted cassette tapes. The Evil Dead makes the audience wonder how they would handle their best friends being possessed by spirits and the answer is not always the best.

7. Lights Out (2016)

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Plot Synopsis

Based on the 2013 short film of the same name, Lights Out tells the story of a supernatural entity that preys upon a family and only appears in the darkness. The estranged daughter of the family, played by Teresa Palmer, must fight to protect herself, save her little half-brother, and uncover a mystery about her family’s past.

Why The Recommendation?

Lights Out did phenomenally at the box office, earning almost $68 million on a next-to-nothing budget of $4.9 million and is another example of a fantastically made horror film of recent memory. Characters make decisions you will most likely agree with and what I love most about the film is its ability to subvert those dumb horror movie character traits we have grown accustomed to, especially when it comes to the idiotic horror boyfriend. Alexander DiPersia‘s (a.k.a. Daario Naharis 2.0) character, Bret, is actually not dead weight in the film and has a few entertaining scenes himself (mostly involving quick thinking and a car).

8. It Follows (2015)

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Plot Synopsis

It Follows follows (heh) teenager Jay, portrayed by Maika Monroe, as she is pursued by a supernatural entity following her first ever sexual encounter. Coach Carr warned us about this in Mean Girls but we just didn’t listen.

Why The Recommendation?

The characters in the film are faced with the incredibly unnerving idea that if you decide to have sex, you are astronomically fucked by this entity. It Follows causes the audience to wonder if there are any loopholes to being stuck with It, however as the writer-director of the film, David Robert Mitchell states in this Buzzfeed article,

“I don’t think there’s a place on the planet or in our known universe that a person could get to that this [entity] couldn’t find a way to reach. If people want to live in a submarine or hang out in space, they can try, but I have a feeling that it’s going to get them there.”

9. Green Room (2015)

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Plot Synopsis

The late Anton Yelchin and Alia Shawkat‘s characters are members of a punk-rock band and they, along with Imogen Poots‘ Amber, are forced to fight for survival after witnessing a murder at a neo-Nazi skinhead bar… The leader of the skinheads, by the way? Patrick effing Stewart.

Why The Recommendation?

Green Room makes the audience think “OK, what would I do if I were stuck in a club with a group of neo-Nazis who have the urge to murder everyone?” I honestly have no idea what I would do, which makes this an even more entertaining and thrilling prospect, especially as the characters are faced with the unimaginable.


What Other Films Would You Add To The List?

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Recommendation: Some Like It Hot (1959)

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Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the third.
Daphne: I’m Cinderella the second.

Some Like It Hot is in my personal list of the greatest comedies of all time.

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TONY CURTIS & JACK LEMMON getting touched up | monovisions

Jack Lemmon/Tony Curtis’ Comedic Brilliance

The chemistry between Jack Lemmon as Jerry and Tony Curtis as Joe is ridiculously spectacular and undeniably one of the best on-screen duos in film. They star as two jazz musicians who witness a Mafia hit, a la the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and must disguise themselves to join an all-female jazz band to escape Chicago. No matter how many times I watch it, the dialogue in this Billy Wilder-directed film never ceases to make me laugh just as hard as the first time I viewed it.

Marilyn Monroe’s Charm

The film also stars Marilyn Monroe as Sugar, a beautifully naive singer who begins a friendship with Lemmon’s Daphne and Curtis’ Josephine. Some Like It Hot marks the second collaboration between Monroe and director Billy Wilder; She previously starred in Wilder’s The Seven Year Itch (1955), arguably her most famous role.

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Wilder directing Monroe in her iconic “Subway Dress” scene 

She apparently “jumped at the chance to work on another film with [him]” and “Wilder apparently intended to cast Mitzi Gaynor to play Sugar but after he heard from Marilyn Monroe, the part was hers.

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I highly recommend watching this film if you are so inclined and I will inevitably end up doing a Nostalgia’d Review for it because I love me some Tony Curtis.


The Nitty Gritty

Release Year: 1959.
Director: Billy Wilder (Double Indemnity, Sunset Boulevard, The Apartment).
Stars: Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe and George Raft.
Run-Time: 2 hours and 12 minutes.

cinemagraph source: Cinegraphiks.
other sources: AFI tumblr, giphy, ehehr’s essay on the Seven Year Itch, The Redlist.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

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Fred: [talking through camera] Hiro, if I could have any superpower right now, it would be the ability to crawl through this camera and give you a big hug.

Starring: Ryan Potter as Hiro Hamada, T.J. Miller as Fred, Jamie Chung as GoGo Tomago and Scott Adsit as Baymax, dirs. Don Hall, Chris Williams.

cinemagraph source: orbo
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Art Direction: Scott Watanabe (Tangled, Paperman)

The Exorcist (1973)

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Chris MacNeil: What are you doing here?
Regan MacNeil: My bed was shaking. I can’t get to sleep.

Starring: Linda Blair as Regan MacNeil, Ellen Burstyn as Chris MacNeil, Jason Miller as Damien Karras and Max von Sydow as Lankester Merrin, dir. William Friedkin.

cinemagraph source: r/Cinemagraphs
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Cinematographer: Owen Roizman (The French Connection, Tootsie, Wyatt Earp)

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children (2016) Movie Review

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[33]
I was honestly waiting for the one moment Samuel L. Jackson’s character would scream out, “I HAVE HAD IT.. WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING PECULIARITIES IN THESE MOTHERFUCKING CHILDREN.”

The Basic Premise

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is based on the book by Ransom Riggs and tells the story of Jake, portrayed robotically by Asa Butterfield, in a plot containing time-loops, Nazis, eye-eating, oh me, oh my!

My Thoughts On The Characters And Story

Eva Green… That woman is a national treasure and her beauty and talent deserves to be framed in a museum for all to see. Her ability to emote on screen, whether it be total jubilation or genuine disgust, is such a treat to witness. Ugh I just want an entire movie where it’s just Eva Green as Miss Peregrine doing whatever the fuck she would like to do that day. She portrayed the title character so wonderfully and I genuinely believed she had such an adoration for these lovely freaks.

 

Said lovely freaks actually surprised me at how likable they were! I usually am not a fan of child actors because they either try too hard or are asleep throughout their performances yet I thought the actual peculiar children in this home were pretty talented, particularly Georgia Pemberton as Fiona, a little girl who has like, vegetation powers. Pixie Davies portrayed Bronwyn Bruntley, an exceptionally strong girl who won my heart over with her adorability. Ella Purnell portrayed Emma Bloom and I actually thought she did a pretty good job. She was wooden during certain scenes but overall when the script called for tender moments, she was able to emote relatively well.

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spoiler: She’s an honest-to-god Airbender | 20th Century Fox

Finlay MacMillan portrayed a Victor Frankenstein-lite character named Enoch and he was… alright. His only character trait seemed to be bitching about the protagonist, Jake, being there. The real problem I had with the acting in this film was Asa Butterfield as the aforementioned protagonist. During the first act I thought he had a relatively fine connection with his father, played by Chris O’Dowd, and his initial camaraderie with the other children was pretty sweet… The second and third act, however, I don’t know what the heck happened but it just went completely away! Butterfield is talented, as seen in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo (2011), but his entire performance was just wooden, stiff and simply unemotional (is that a word?). To be fair, his character really had nothing to work with except asking questions and being really shit at the crossbow.

There was one scene where he learns a valuable piece of information and his best is, “… what? Oh… How are we going to stop them? Oh. What?

Samuel L. Jackson is also the antagonist in this movie and holy shit, guys, I had some genuine belly laughs at some of the things coming out of his mouth. And it wasn’t only because of his weird fake teeth that impaired him from uttering lines either. (This clip is spoilery but the entire scene had me, my best friend and the audience consisting of four other people guffawing).

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“… And a mint, for you!” | 20th Century Fox

I will say, I did not expect this film to have half as many ideas in it as it did. I haven’t read the book so I’m not sure if the following are all in it, but there are parallel dimensions, time jumps, child eating, Europe during the Nazi invasion, all executed in a brilliant Tim Burton-y way and honestly, I am happy to say this film falls more into his better works than the Dark Shadows or Alice installments. Damn it, Tim Burton! Please stay in the realm of Burton-esque films you excel in! There are a few details and intricacies that make you think immediately, “yup. That’s from Burton alright!”

Although it looked beautiful and I’ll explore that more later on, this film easily could have trimmed off an excessive amount of fat. It’s 2 hours and 7 minutes long, when it really should not exceed an hour and 50 minutes… With the performance from Butterfield, it felt like a three-hour epic without the epic… (Sorry Asa. I like you but this was not your movie. At least you were almost Spiderman!).

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acting! | 20th Century Fox

There is also one glaring issue I have with the final battle sequence and I had to ask myself, “why the fuck did they not just do that to begin with?!”For those interested in this review being spoiler-free, you can ignore this sentence: FINALE SPOILER Can anyone tell me why they didn’t get those two twins with sacks over their heads to just go to Samuel L. Jackson and T2 him? They did it with that random lady that shape shifted into a monkey so why couldn’t they just do that to SLJ? It would’ve saved a whole lot of trouble. END SPOILER

How Were The Other Aspects Of The Film?

This is a beautiful looking film. The dreary-looking present day compared to the bright and liveliness of Miss Peregrine’s home is a delight to witness. There are some pretty fantastic visual effects as well and again, there are moments this film has where I was laughing aloud at the ridiculousness of what was occurring… I’m sure certain moments were intended, although there were many others that really weren’t. Oh and don’t see this in 3D. Sounds like a broken record but it doesn’t add anything, filmmakers need to stop this bullshit.


If you’re looking for a fun, adventure film with sprinkles of magic and want to see Samuel L. Jackson cruise through a role and seem to laugh at everything he’s saying, check out Tim Burton Presents The Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters In Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children Based On The Novel “Push” By Sapphire

(Yes, I know I made the Push joke once before… Sue me. I like it)

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an accurate depiction of the fucks I give | giphy

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children receives 3/5 Matt Damon heads.

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sources used: [1], [2]