Lost in Translation (2003)

Charlotte: I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be.
Bob: You’ll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

Starring: Bill Murray as Bob Harris, Scarlett Johansson as Charlotte, Giovanni Ribisi as John and Anna Faris as Kelly, dir. Sofia Coppola

Cinematographer: Lance Acord (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation)
gif source: thegoodfilms

The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016) Movie Review


Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron walk into a movie, the result of that? An incredibly sub par picture

The second unit director & visual effects supervisor of the first Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) movie, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, helms this prequel/sequel to the surprising 2012 hit. I will say, this was a pretty looking movie and I firmly hold the belief that Chris Hemsworth can charm the milk out of chocolate… That’s pretty much all I can say for it. The performances of the aforementioned three ridiculously talented actresses are completely wasted in The Huntsman 2/1. Blunt, Theron and Chastain are some of the greatest working actresses today, with Jessica Chastain being one of my own personal favourites… I hate to say it but these performances were phoned in entirely and it is a shame that these four weren’t starring in a completely different movie because I think that would’ve been way better than what we got.

“Why are we in this?” “… I’m saving up for Lawless 2

As mentioned, it is a nice looking movie and I thoroughly enjoyed the Frozen-esque VFX aspect to it, frankly Elsa should’ve been freezing shit up as much as Freya was. Hemsworth and Chastain had tremendous chemistry together and I hope they work together in the future because I can’t imagine how fantastic they would be together in a movie that isn’t this one. Charlize Theron was fine but you can tell she is only this because she probably owed director Troyan a favour and Emily Blunt… Ooooooooh wee the Redmayne Ascending syndrome struck her.


It is not particularly engaging, it drones on quite a bit but I did appreciate the motivation behind Freya’s anger. It’s really stupid but I appreciate it. Also I’m certain I wasn’t the only one that saw the final outcome between the sisters coming from a mile away, right? There are dwarves too that served as comic relief and they made me laugh a few times. It really is an incredibly underwhelming movie and one of those movies where you will catch the tail end of it when it’s on the Space channel or something.

If you’re looking for a ridiculously entertaining take on the fantasy genre, this probably isn’t the movie for you. If you’re a fan of the original Snow White and the Huntsman and want to see Chris Hemsworth be charismatic and charming (and really, who doesn’t?), check out The Huntsman: War on Mirrors.

The Huntsman receives 2.5/5 Matt Damon heads



The Jungle Book (2016) Movie Review



The Jungle Book: A visual marvel that delivers incredibly on effects and a simply story.

There were moments in this movie that genuinely terrified me. This is because animals, particularly of the wild-kind, are fucking scary (see the bear scene from The Revenant and every nature special). Why they terrified me were because the visual effects work in this movie are in-cred-ible. I honestly have no idea how Jon Favreau directed any of these scenes and the people responsible for the CG work deserve all the awards. I was hooked from the first second of the first scene and loved witnessing whatever it was I was witnessing throughout it. 

Besides the incredible visuals, the voicework implemented was fantastic. I am honestly ecstatic that the actors involved gave a genuine shit about their roles and you can tell while listening that no one phoned in their performance. I love watching/listening to performances on-screen, no matter how small or big, and feeling their presence. 

The Disney Blog has a great article that showcases the actors alongside their Jungle Book counterparts and honestly, everyone delivered. If you are hesitant in watching the movie, go watch it solely for Bill Murray’s performance as Baloo. He had me and a majoirty of the adults in the audience, cracking up. Neel Sethi as Mowgli wasn’t particularly bad or insanely good, he was fine. His lines were delivered painfully occasionally and there were moments where his over-enunciation became annoying, however as mentioned, his performance overall was fine.

Now to make a confession: I have never seen the original animated Jungle Book.

geto ut.gif 

Thankfully, however, my living arrangements for the past couple of decades aren’t under any rocks so I was aware of certain aspects to the film like the Bare Necessities song and the red trousers Mowgli wears. If you’re one of the five people on earth that hasn’t seen the original animated, don’t worry, you will definitely enjoy watching it. The effects and voice performances are honestly worth the price of admission. It is one of those movies that I don’t really feel the need to rewatch again but I’m certain I will be watching that final climatic fight scene many times in the future. Shit was more intense than Batman v Superman.

If you’re looking for a visual masterpiece (it is honestly eye-orgasmic worthy) with incredible voice performances, check out the 2016 adaptation of The Jungle Book.. we’re going to get another one from Andy Serkis in 2018 so I can’t wait to see how he visualizes the world of the Jungle.

The Jungle Book (2016) receives 4/5 Matt Damon heads.


Collateral (2004)


Vincent: There’s no good reason, there’s no bad reason to live or to die.
Max: Then what are you?
Vincent: I’m indifferent.

Javier Bardem and his shaved head make a small appearance as the illusive Felix and his story about Santa & Black Peter is one of my favourite parts of the film.

Starring: Tom Cruise as Vincent and Jamie Foxx as Max, dir. Michael Mann.

Cinematographers: Paul Cameron (Man on Fire), Dion Beebe (Edge of Tomorrow)
gif source: orbo-cinemagraphs 

X-Men: First Class (2011)


Erik Lehnsherr: Excuse me, I’m Erik Lehnsherr.
Charles Xavier: Charles Xavier.
Logan: Go fuck yourself.

Starring: Michael LadyBonerKing Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier, Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert, Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique and Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw, dir. Matthew Vaughn.

Cinematographer: John Mathieson (Kingdom of Heaven, Gladiator, The Man from UNCLE)

Archer (2009 – Present)

gif source: r/Archer

Archer: “Senator Stay Puft? Rebuttal?”
7×02: “The Handoff”

FX’s Archer is one of the funniest series on television.
My favourite moment (and there are many, but my #1) comes from Season 1, Episode 7’s “Skytanic” in which Ray attempts to help Archer and Lana defuse a bomb on a helium blimp.

Starring: H. Jon Benjamin as Sterling “Danger Zone” Malory Archer, Aisha Tyler as Lana Man-Hands Kane, Judy Greer as Carol Charlene Cheryl Tunt, Amber Nash as Pam Poovey, Chris Parnell as Cyril helloooo Figgis, Adam Reed as Ray Gillette, Lucky Yates as Dr. Possibly a Clone Kreiger and Jessica Walter as Malory Archer, Created by Adam Reed.


Hardcore Henry (2016) Movie Review



Hardcore Henry: an FPS cinematic experience that sounds better on paper, but is translated just fine on screen

Hardcore Henry is unlike any other movie experience I have ever had. The first-person perspective to it is incredibly enjoyable and as a fan of the video game for many years, it really is like an hour and 36 minute campaign experience. I have no idea how they managed to pull off half of the shit I witnessed in this movie and oh man, this is a nice violent one. It managed to receive an R-rating in Canada and this rating is solely reserved for films that have graphic sex or nudity depicted, ie. Shame (2012) or Blue is the Warmest (2013), or extreme violence, as in Hardcore Henry‘s case. The usual MPAA R-rating is translated to either a 14A (Mad Max: Fury Road) or 18A (Deadpool) in Canada.

In the words of Anakin Skywalker, “yippeeeeeeeee!”

The action was a constant throughout this movie and the special effects, besides one glaringly obvious moment where it turned into an actual PS2 game a la The Scorpion King’s appearance in The Mummy Returns (2001), were phenomenal. I would watch an entire full-length movie on how the production went during filming. I felt that characterization and character motives weren’t really fleshed out all that well which translated to a lot of “but huhwhat?” moments. The Hardcore universe is extremely absurd, and hilariously stupid at certain moments, so I understood that the filmmakers weren’t really going for realism but it would’ve been nice to have something more at its core besides the mustache-twirling-villain-keeping-the-hero’s-wife-away-from-him story. Not to go too tough on it, you can’t expect to feel emotionally overwhelmed by a (robot)balls-to-the-wall action movie… I mean you could but Henry didn’t really fit into that and that is well and good!

In terms of the characters themselves, without delving into that spoiler territory, Sharlto Copley was a riot and a half. This movie would not be nearly enjoyable without that character. I’m still not convinced that Haley Bennett isn’t somehow related to Lea Seydoux but she gave a good performance as Estelle. The villain Danila Kozlovsky made me want to kill myself but he had Force powers which was cool to watch. The soundtrack was also incredible! One moment specifically involved Frank Sinatra… That’s all I will say about that.

“Let’s not spare those horses”

If you’re looking for a spectacularly bloody action film mixed with sprinkles of science fiction and an intriguing gimmick, check out Hardcore Henry. 
It’s one of those movies I’m glad I watched, but I probably won’t ever feel the need to revisit again.
I also didn’t get dizzy or anything at all.. So that was my experience.

Hardcore Henry receives 3.5/5 Matt Damon heads.