Star Wars Episode VII: AWAKENED, THE FORCE HAS (2015) Spoiler-Free review

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The time has arrived. The wait is finally over. The new Star Wars is here… A NEW STAR WARS!  From the moment Disney bought Lucasfilm and the announcement was made that we’re ultimately going to be sucked back into the movie universe that so many of us love, speculations, leaks, criticisms, fanboyisms have all risen with the first ultimate test being how The Force Awakens stacks up… And let me tell you guys: Episode VII is one incredible ride.


Let’s get the pleasantries out of the way. The second that opening crawl comes up with NEW words and sentences you’ve never read before, emotions are high. Tears are shed. Snot is formed. 

I haven’t been enthralled in such a movie since watching my favourite film of the year, Fury Road. Each frame is filled with beauty, lushness, colour and familiarity (that is for you to see) that makes it such a comfortable movie to watch. It is the mashed potatoes of movies. You’re welcomed back into the Star Wars universe that you love and have been craving to be welcomed back into. I’m going to focus on the merits and negatives to The Force Awakens strictly for itself but mention of the Original Trilogy and Prequels will be made, it’s inevitable. That said, it’s fucking PARSECS ahead of the Prequels, don’t worry about that.

I’ve read a few people saying the story/plot in the Prequels are stronger than that of The Force Awakens and it’s really like WHAT. Look, the main plot that drives TFA is reminiscent of A New Hope… Alright let’s call a spade a spade, without delving too much into spoiler territory Force Awakens is essentially an updated, more bad-ass version of ANH. There are many familiar themes in Episode VII that parallels the previous Episode, however, JJ Abrams & co. have managed to shape it in a way that makes it entertaining and fresh. Trade negotiations & senate meetings are terrific and you know what? I would have liked for TFA to have a bit more explanation of the political climate in the galaxy and certain characters certainly could have been utilized better. I’m sure we’ll receive more from all accounts in the upcoming episodes.. BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO GET MORE STAR WARS MOTHERFUCKAHHHHHS 🙂


Let’s discuss the newcomers to the Star Wars universe…

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Boyega, Ridley, Driver, Isaac… They are simply terrific. Daisy Ridley and John Boyega.. these two are going places.
  • Ridley as Rey is arguably the breakthrough performance of the year. I can’t imagine the amount of pressure this woman had to a) not only star in the new Star Wars in a decade but also b) in her first big, blockbuster film! Yeah, I get nervous pouring coffee for my manager.
  • Boyega as FN-2187 (aka Finn) is spectacular. The perfect blend of Han Solo & Luke Skywalker, the chemistry between these two leads is undeniable. 
  • Oscar Isaac (Poe Dameron) is one of my favourite actors working today. He is in the realm of the Hardy and Fassbenders. I honestly felt more of a genuine friendship between Poe & Finn in the first 5 minutes of them meeting than  Obi Wan & Anakin’s friendship in the entirety of Attack of the Clones. I’m sorry but no one gives a shit about the time you flew into the pile of Gungans on the island of Gundor.
  • Arguably the weakest link between the four is Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. While masked, he possessed a certain air of mystery and intrigue to him… I just didn’t feel intimated by him at all when that mask came off. This could have been achieved as well unmasked had a stronger actor been cast. Not to take away from Driver’s acting ability but I couldn’t help but wonder how Isaac would have been as Kylo. 

    You all have looked up how good or bad The Force Awakens is. You know whether you want to experience it on the biggest of screens or in the comfort of your own home, although I’m sure you’d be spoiled eventually because internet bags of dicks are everywhere. It is not a perfect movie, however it’s pretty darn close to it. All I can tell you is if you’re familiar with the Star Wars universe, you will feel a sense of awe throughout the duration of the movie. If you’re not a fan of the universe, you’ll be insanely entertained throughout it… However, at the very least watch Episode IV: A New Hope. You’ll find a new favourite movie and have a greater appreciation for The Force Awakens.

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I am way too hyped for the remaining two of this chart to be filled

If you’re looking for a movie that– ahhh fuck it. GO WATCH THE NEW STAR WARS! 🙂


Star Wars: The Force Awakens receives 4/5 Matt Damon heads.

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