Crimson Peak (2015) Movie Review


Oh Guillermo del Toro… No one can deny that you make delectably beautiful looking movies. Crimson Peak is arguably one of the better looking movies this year, its intense imagery of things we all despise like insects and insects eating butterflies really lends itself to just how beautiful this movie is. The richness of the colours is a sight to see in the theatre and the houses… The architecture on those houses, man, are the wet dreams of every architect in every Rom Com ever.

crimson house

The performances of the brother/sister duo of Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain is simply brilliant. Chastain is one of my favourite actresses working in Hollywood today so her phenomenal acting was an expected treat, however Hiddleston really was the standout. He plays sneaky. lovely. creepy. sexy AND broody bloody terrifically. The over-the-topness from both Hiddleston and Chastain was entertaining to witness and believe me… There was some super over-the-topness.

The siblings’ best John Lennon impersonation

Unfortunately, with the good comes the… not so good. I did not expect Crimson Peak to be the absolute jump scare galore it was. I think the word “subtle” was never mentioned in the writers room when this film was being created. The movie suffers from the common horror trope of… quiet… music playing… shhh, nothing’s happening here… you’re not anticipating SUDDEN NOISE BAM BOOM HA GOT YOU. You know I didn’t mind the one jump scare here and there because that is, of course, expected out of a horror-type movie… However what Crimson Peak does is it makes the audience member anticipate the jump scare. I know when the jump scare was coming. I don’t want to know. The music suddenly quieted and the character has a sense of calmness? Yeah, the jump scare is imminent.

As a “Gothic romance” as so many are calling it, the pairing of Hiddleston and Mia Wasikowska was.. subpar, at best. There was a hint of chemistry between the two but I think Wasikowska/Charlie Hunnam had much more of a spark… And those two were arguably the weakest out of the four so that may have had something to do with it.

It took me way too long to realize this was Charlie Hunnam

Yet another HOWEVER, however… The final 20 minutes or so of this film is absolutely cuckoo bananas. Every actor involved really showcased their acting chops brilliantly, particularly the aforementioned Mia Wasikowska, she actually managed to do something other than walking around creepy hallways grasping onto those damn candles for dear life. I have to mention it again, Jessica Chastain: you’re my hero.


Crimson Peak suffers from being so great to look at, but having nothing really substantial on the inside. Essentially a film embodiment of Steve Stifler. With way more romance and violence. The direction from del Toro is known, however, it is beautifully directed (someone give me a dollar for every time I mention ‘beautiful’) and his scene setups were fantastic.

If you’re looking for a nice movie to watch on Halloween with loved ones and the whole family, watch Addams Family Values or Halloweentown. If you want to see shit being stabbed, one use of the word ‘Fuck’, and an adult horror-romantic movie with people you know that can handle that type of thing, Crimson Peak is that movie for you.

Crimson Peak receives 3.5/5 Matt Damon heads.


The Conjuring (2013) Movie Review

the conjuring

I recently rewatched this film, having originally seen it during its theatrical run and was curious to see if it held up to how much I remember loving it… Let me tell you, The Conjuring is a fantastic piece of motion pictureness and it exceeded what I remember.

I truly believed the love this family had for each other and could tell these people have had their fair share of hardships they had to overcome. Surprisingly, the child acting was rather pleasant and not annoying, an issue that seems to plague many horror films or film in general. Ron Livingston had a good portrayal of a hard-working father & husband, however there were a few times where I thought he could’ve improved a little bit. [SPOILER] dude, your wife/mother of your 5 children is potentially going to violently murder your child.. Would it kill you to put a little umph in your pleads??

His ’70s-era hair impaired his emotion, I get it

The pairing of Patrick Wilson/Vera Farmiga was brilliant, you could tell these two have been through some shit and they know whether a situation is relevant to their work or simply some shotty pipe work in the attic making noise.

I want to invite them over for dinner and cuddles

James Wan really showcased his directing chops as well, the amount of talent this guy possesses is ridiculous. He manages to create a refreshing take on what could have easily been a by-the-numbers paranormal flick, beautifully direct the 7th installment of a franchise that faced arguably the most difficult situation one could possibly face, and will now helm a superhero movie with Khal Drogo in the water… James, whatever MJ water you’re drinking, keep it up! The Conjuring really is directed beautifully with not too many BOOMWHUPPAH! scenes that make you say DAMN IT in frustration rather than scream in terror; it had just the right amount of tension & build up paired with the occasional jump scare that actually helped to enhance the film rather than hinder it.

If you’re looking for a horror film you may not have seen yet and would like to be feel actual suspense & thrill, watch The Conjuring this Halloween.. If anything, you can swoon over Patrick Wilson’s perfect sideburns. Boy, that man has some amazing sideburns..


The Conjuring receives 4.5/5 Matt Damon heads.